How to Defy the Laws of Physics
by that crazy chick
Summary: In which Switzerland and South Korea engage in a battle of epic proportions! Includes yodeling and mad kung-foo skillz.


Once upon a time, in a land far, far away was a place called Europe. Now, as you know, Europe is a completely uninhabitable and barren stretch of wasteland that extends from Hungary to Sweden, and its capitol is France. Yes, that Europe. Now what, you may ask, could possibly be so interesting that is going on in a place like that?

And I shall tell you. From Europe spawned a battle of epic proportions.

There was a small, unimposing speck on the map which was called Switzerland. In Switzerland, the people all rode donkeys to school or work (except for the wealthy who rode horses) and they were all proud members of a nation-wide nudist colony (except for the donkeys of course). They did not have cell phones or video games, and they lived in little grass huts which had no electricity. Poor, unfortunate Switzerland.

However, the personification of this insignificant little country was a proud man. He was a man of honor, a man of action, a great man almost as great as President Bill Gates (inventor of the cell phone and Mario Kart). And he was willing to fight for his country... while still retaining his stringent neutrality of course.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world in a place called Asia (that's next to the Russian Commies) there was another, slightly more refined but still pretty speckish country called South Korea. And the personification of South Korea was... eh, whatever. Let's move on.

So, anyway, by some miracle of time and space and airplanes which just happened to fly them to the same location (this is a miracle because, as everyone knows, there _are_ no airplanes in Europe) these two countries met. And they ended up in a class in which the teacher taught the meaning of life. It was called _physics class_. It was a wondrous and magical class. So wondrous and magical that to speak of physics outside of physics was strictly forbidden. And if someone asked you a question about physics, well the proper response would be to pretend that you didn't know the answer- not because you actually didn't know the answer, but simply because to humor them would be to shame physics itself.

And it was in this class that Switzerland issued a challenge to South Korea like no other!...

"Can I borrow a pen?"

Unfortunately, South Korea's English-speaking skills were in need of some improvement, so he didn't understand that a challenge like no other had just been issued. He just smiled and nodded, hoping it wasn't a question.

There was a tense silence as Switzerland realized that his challenge had just been accepted. From there, he drew back several steps for a careful tactical retreat. Suddenly, he yelled his battle cry, "MAGICAL SWISS POWERS, ACTIVATE!" and he attacked! He began yodeling like the Ricola man on steroids. It was a beautiful specimen of yodeling (or so he claimed. No one had the heart to tell him that yodeling is like playing the bagpipes- it sounds painful whether you're great or terrible at it).

The yodeling shot out a laser beam that shook the very foundation of the earth.

South Korea jumped into action. It turned out that he had understood Switzerland the whole time, but had just acted like he hadn't as part of his master plan to catch him off-guard with his mad Asian skillz.

"ASIAN KUNG-FOO!" He struck out at Switzerland's laser beam of yodeling and sliced through it like Chuck Norris would slice a piece of pre-sliced bread. He went into the famed 'tiger lying in wait behind an ice-cream stand on a Tuesday' pose, and volleyed another set of attacks faster then the speed of light.

But although it seemed all was lost for the poor, window-less country of Switzerland, it was not! For you see, unbeknownst to South Korea, Switzerland actually loved ice-cream and had developed an immunity to the 'tiger lying in wait behind an ice-cream stand on a Tuesday' battle move.

He attacked once more, and was just about to finish off the weakened South Korea, when the Great God of Physics (abbreviated as GGP) came to restore peace to the world. "Switzerland!" The GGP bellowed in that all-powerful voice of his, "Why have you strayed from your path? The other European spe- I mean countries, are over there." He pointed an omnipotent finger at an adjourning table.

"Oh Great God of Physics," Switzerland answered humbly, knowing that he was not worthy, "I was simply helping South Korea and his group."

The GGP turned to the group. "My psychic powers tell me that your calculations have obtained a large percentage error. Why is this?"

The extremely devoted physics students knew that this was a test of their loyalty. If they answered his question, they would bring disgrace upon physics and be punished severely. Therefore, they did what any true student of the GGP would do. "I dunno," they replied.

The Great God of Physics was pleased. "Then Switzerland, can you enlighten us all? If you are truly here to help, that is."

"Um... I dunno."

The GGP's eyes, which seemed to stare right into a man's soul, pierced Switzerland. His gaze dropped as he bowed oh-so-respectfully to the GGP.

"Then as the all-powerful one, who knows the secrets to life itself, I shall have to take ten points off of your grades!" As soon as he had given his decree of law, he swished his cape dramatically and disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving behind nothing but the rappers from 'Robin Hood: Men in Tights,' who were led by Overlord Curtis and proceeded to sing about the sheer amazingness of physics class.

And our story ends as such: the students of the Great God of Physics had passed his skillfully crafted test. The planets realigned. Everything was put back in its proper place. And peace was restored to the world.

The End

**OoO**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters here. I don't even own the GGP, because... well, because you can't own a real person.**

**In case you hadn't already noticed, this thing is _full_ of inside jokes between me and my friend (who is a foreign exchange student from Switzerland). The section with the GGP is pretty much a 100 percent true story, and South Korea here is based on another kid in our physics class who is an exchange student from... South Korea, duh! I was actually part of SK's group in that project, and was part of the reason why Switzy got in trouble. (Sorry...lol). Oh, and she totally approved this thing, so please don't get offended if you are from either of the two mentioned countries. (Don't flame me, I'm funneh! :D)**

**May the force be with you,**

**that crazy chick**


End file.
